I’ve yet to give Twitter a try. Wow, try saying that three times fast… Twitter a try. Tritter a try. Tridder, trida, twit… yeah, no good. Still, I’ve yet to give it a go, but I’m sure I shall sooner or later. I guess you could say I’m working my way up to it. One thing that’s helped motivate me towards this is the site Ruminations.com. It’s kind of like Twitter, but funny and there is a task force dedicated to eradicating redundant crap, exhausted jokes, failed funnies, and pointless posts.
My little sister recommended the site to me a while ago, but it tool me a bit to warm up to it. Now, every couple of days I’ll check back and see what thoughts of randomness people have had and been compelled to share with others. The premise of a rumination equates to this, you know when you’re… well you can be anywhere really and all of a sudden some random observation pops into your head and either makes you start smiling, or in more extreme cases, makes you start giggling like a wee school girl. Well this is where people go to share those thoughts.
If you want to post something you’ll need to create your own profile. This also identifies you when you post something. All posts have a 250 character limit, which is great for people who either hate reading or have really short attention spans… or both. There is voting, so if you like something you can give it a “gourmet point.” You can also become fans of other people, and you can add your own comments to other people’s ruminations.
My favorite statistic I read on this site is this, “All submissions are screened before being approved and approximately 39% are rejected.” 39%, that’s just brilliant! This means that I’ll never have to read messages from people that they are eating leftovers, sitting on their porch, or going to go use the toilet, as well as all the other endless supply of posted Tweets that are responsible for the overused texting anagram TMI.
So after weeks of reading and checking out the site, today I finally took the plunge, I posted my first rumination. I’m not sure if it’s been accepted or rejected yet, it’s still in review, but it doesn’t matter because I did it! Here’s what I submitted:
I’m amazed at how many people constantly fail to recognize that when a person begins backing away from them in the middle of a conversation it’s a sign that it’s time for them to stop talking.
Ok yes, I’m sure at some point that thought will be a Smirk all its own, because yes there is a story there, more than one in fact.
I mean sure it’s a hit and miss kind of site, but things like this always are. Look at those calendars that are suppose to have a joke of the day or thought of the day. Some days are brilliant and other days… let’s just say at least you have a useful little piece of scratch paper. The main difference here is that there are thousands of people submitting their daily thoughts, well, daily. The chance you’ll find something that’s going to make you smile is exponential.
Overall, I’ve been enjoying it, and for those of you contemplating the jump into a world of twits, I mean tweets, I might be a good starting point. I recommend checking it out. http://www.ruminations.com/about
Have you seen this site out before? What did you think?
Image Source: Google Images, key words: no twitter, too much information, and please stop talking.
One of the perks about having a birthday on New Years Day is that everyone comes over the night before and stays up until it’s actually your birthday. Now I’ve heard that New Years in Times Square is one of those, well for some it’s a life defining event. You are one of two types of people in this world, you are either someone who has spent New Years Eve in Times Square or you’re not.
Problem with this logic is that that applies to everything. There are always two types of people in this world. There those that drink beer and those that don’t, or those that eat Jell-o and those that don’t. Although, there are 10 kind of people in this world, those that can read binary and those that can’t. (That one always makes me smile.)
Still, I’ve always preferred the smaller kind of New Years gathering. Bringing in the New Year with a bunch of close drunk friends indoors makes a lot more sense to me than spending the evening outside with a few friends who are surrounded by a street full of drunken strangers. It’s warmer, more comfortable, and the drinks are a lot cheaper. I will say this though, the evening held a number of party firsts for me.
One of them was… ok first off, is it wrong to say I got syphilis from my friend Debbie as one of my birthday presents? It’s true… it also makes a fabulous little finger warmer. It was a little pink stuffed animal, actually make that a stuffed microbe. They are called Giantmicrobes, and there’s a whole gaggle of them. Some of my personal favorites are: rabies, anthrax, the clap, e. coli, typhoid fever and black death. Still how can you go wrong with giving syphilis to a friend for their birthday?
We giggled about that all night. Every time I handed it to someone new they’d yell out, “Hey look, Rich just gave me syphilis.” In fact I think I gave everyone at the party syphilis. You know, if you read that out of context it gives an entirely different image of what was really happening at my New Years/birthday party.
There was also the count down and birthday song. Usually this happens chronologically. We all count down to midnight, yell Happy New Year, and then people start singing happy birthday. Well, we sort of missed the count down this year, err last year… at the party. We were all engaged in conversations and laughing and drinking, and just enjoying the time together that we just sort of missed it. Only by a few minutes mind you.
Once we realized the fact we just went ahead and sang the birthday and blew out the candles on a big ass half eaten cinnamon roll pull apart pastry thing that my mom had made for the party, which was mostly eaten. Hey it was something to put candles while people sang. After the singing we opened the champagne, poured everyone a glass and did the count down… three times. What? It’s like singing karaoke. You always get at least one mulligan before the real one counts.
I think what I enjoyed most about the evening was the after. Normally there is a point in the evening where after the party peeks people decide call it a night and start heading home. For my friends and I it’s usually around 11 to midnight… cause, well, we’re old, oldish… let’s just say we’re not in our twenties anymore, and staying up past midnight doesn’t hold the same level of accomplishment as it use to.
When you have your own bed only a few miles away it’s more appealing to be sober up by 11 so you can be asleep, in your own bed, by midnight, or 1 at the latest. But after the countdown there was no mass exodus or migration. No, we just kept going on with the evening as normal. Midnight held no sleepy time power over us. In fact most people didn’t start leaving until about 2. The last people called it a night a little after 4. It might not seem like anything big or major or life altering, and you’re right it wasn’t. It was just a really subtle observation for the evening, which I thought was delightful.
The only grumble I had was that some of my closest friends couldn’t make it. But then again I was able to make a few toasts in their absence, so to those of you that weren’t there know that were was more than one time that a glass was filled, raised, and emptied just for you. Still, it was a grand way to finish 2009 and begin 2010.
I did get a call from one of my best friends shortly after midnight to wish me a happy birthday. It’s a bit of a tradition. In the event that he can’t make it I always get a call shortly after ball drops and everyone finishes singing. He did ask me two questions while we were talking. The first was, “What was the best thing about 2009?” I told him it was rekindling my joy and passion in creating through my writing. He then asked, “What is one of the main things you want to accomplish in this new year?” I said it was to become a published author. I guess you could call it my 2010 goal, resolution, motivational speech topic thingy… it’s my dream.
So there you have it. My exit from 2009 and my entrance into 2010. I’m looking forward to the upcoming year and hope you continue to join me while I continue to smirk about it. Thanks for reading. Now please excuse me… I’ve got some left over birthday wine, and I don’t want it to go bad (/wink).
So how was your New Years celebration? What are your answers to the questions my friend asked?
Image Sources: Google Images, key words: new years party, giantmicrobe syphilis, singing happy birthday, asleep in bed, and toasting friends.
There have been times during my years as a contributor to the workforce collective that work has gone a bit slow. For some reason customers just aren’t in the mood to make much of an appearance. But it’s not like you can go home. The business rule is that someone has to be there, you know, just in case. Just in case the planets align and a bus full or tourists pull up to the front of the store and everyone gets out and buts 15 of each items as gifts that they will be taking home to their family. Or just in case the local sporting event gets out and 15,000 fans feel the sudden urge to drive across town and go shopping you store because they all have a sudden desire to rent a video instead of going home and going to bed. You know just in case. Just in case it the catchphrase where all stupid and improbable possibilities go to die, but instead get cataloged as a list of potential realities, because, you know, just in case.
So there you and your coworkers stay, stuck in an environment were you have to pretend to look busy because everything you needed to get done was done three hours ago. The supervisor has either gone home, or if they are hourly, is in their back office playing solitary on the computer, while you wait out front hoping desperately for a customer to come in just to break up the monotony. Hell, you don’t even care if all they want is directions to a restaurant in the vicinity. At least it would be something to do.
Sometimes this “too much free time at work” syndrome, which I believe is the technical term for it, begins to birth a series of “seemed like a good idea at the time” ideas. Case and point, while working in a clothing store, on one exceptionally slow evening, I suggested to my co-workers that we have a cross dressed fashion show. All the blokes tried on the new line of women’s clothes and the women tried on the men’s clothes. It would have been fine too had one of us had the foresight to recommend we not all try on clothes at the same time. A customers appeared at the front doors and I was the only one not in the dressing rooms at the time. I felt a little funny walking up to her wearing a light blue full length skirt asking if I could help her. She was a good sport about it. I did tell her how comfy it was and highly recommended that she try one on. She bought two! She also suggested I might want to try the earth toned brown one instead of the light blue one next time though.
Occasionally though, one of these ideas becomes so enticing that you can’t help but start developing it into a full fledged working experiment. The plan is so intensive that you find yourself working on it while at work, realizing that not working at work can be a lot more work than actually working, but it’s not nearly as fun.
I started thinking about all they types of jobs that are out there that this type of situation might occur. I mean sure, department stores is an obvious one. The there is lawyer, or doctor, or librarian, or politician… yeah I could see it happening there as well, then again maybe you just start drinking more on the job instead. What about carnival workers though? Of course, that’s not even trying. How about a baboon trainer? Sure, I don’t see why not. It would seem that any and every job might carry with it the occasional down time where the “too much free time at work” syndrome. And sometimes the ideas are so grand that you just have to do it for the sake of seeing it done.
Here’s an example of what I mean… just look what can happen when sheep herders find themselves with a little “too much free time at work”:
Brilliance happens around us every day. Sometimes that brilliance is something as simple as sheep wearing led lights at night, but it becomes a type of magic in its own right. And to you skeptics, let me borrow a few words of one Mr. Pratchett, who once wrote, “Just because you know how something is done doesn’t mean it’s not magic.”
What have been some of your best ideas as a result of “too much free time at work”? What is your ratio of these ideas that have fallen into the “seemed like a good idea at the time” category? For me, it’s probably about 50 to 1, but that might be a bit conservative.
Image Source: Google Images, key words: bored at work and baboon training.
I figure it’s time to dedicate a post to the most important person in my life. My cutie-baby-sweetie-pie-wifey-pooh, Angela. One of the brilliantly unique things about her is that she’s a singer, actually make that a singer-alonger. She loves it too, and does it all the time, full of emotion, verve, determination, and smiles. And above all, she is unafraid to do so… as long as she’s in the car or the house or any other place where music is playing and no one else is there, well, except maybe me. The important point I need to make here is that she does not care if she knows the song or not. If it fills her with the desire to sing, she sings… words be damned.
It absolutely kills me. Just thinking about it gets my cheeks all dimpled with smiles. And believe me when I tell you she has no need for lyrics. I mean she’ll use them if she knows them, but if she is listening to a song for the very first time, it in no way means she will not be able to sing along. She most definitely will, I guarantee it.
She’s a sing sounder instead of a song singer. Meaning, if she doesn’t know the words, or has simply just forgotten them, without even missing a beat, she’ll start singing sounds in the place of the words. And no, I don’t mean doo-wop, or la-la-la, or a-wop-bop-a-lu-bop, or anything like that. It really is a type of art in its own right. Plus its just so damn funny to watch.
So I’m sure you can all imagine my elation when I came across this YouTube video that not only catches exactly the sing sounder song style that my Angela is so proficient at, but its also… its… I’ll put it like this, I’ve seen it eight times in two days and I’m still laughing though the whole thing. it’s just brilliant. If you have not seen then before, enjoy. And if you have, watch it again, it helps make the world a better place:
Ok, so maybe Angela can’t play the ukulele, but that singing style is spot on. Anyway, just a little Angelaism that always puts a smile on my face, and figured it was well worth sharing.
So do any of you have any friends, family, or loved ones with this same inspiring ability? I’d be curious to know.
Image Source: Google Images, key words: singing in car.
Last night some friends and I gathered at one of our local theaters to spend two hours surrounded by thrills, chills, smirks, and an assortment of laughter simply by watching a collection of short Christmas themed films being made fun of by some of the cast of the cultastic MST3K.
Most of the films came to us from Castle Films vault of misfit films. “Castle Films, pouring boiling oil into the eyes of their viewers for over 30 years.” I believe is how Mike put it at one point. Sadly, he wasn’t far off. Most of the films carried with them the visual equivalent having a bad acid trip being triggered as a result of watching Jack Black attempting to act. That’s the problem with Jack’s acting, even if you’ve never taken any drugs at any time in any of your lives, the second you see him appear on the big screen your skin starts crawling and your brain starts screaming, “TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!” but you can’t because it’s, well, a bloody movie.
Thankfully though, the banter and quips that Mike, Bill and Kevin kept making helped diminished the visual trickle that we had to endure. This is the magic of what MST3K started and that RiffTrax has continued to carry on, the ability to create joy and laughter out of a pain invoking situation, which is exactly what the evening was all about.
The audience’s laugh track was already in full swing as my friends and I walked in to the theater. There were some snickers and even some wide open-mouth bursts as we began watching the preshow screen displaying a slide show of RiffTrax themed and made up movie quotes, trivia, and observations. Say what you will, but the audience is the great adjuster. They can either greatly diminish your watching experience or they can greatly improve it. My audience, the audience I was with, was ready to laugh and knew the evening would not disappoint. The energy was static with smiles standing on end.
And it was their flowing fountain of laughter that I began to pay attention to once I was settled into my seat. Some of the laughs were a bit premature, as if the laugher was so full and ready to giggle that they would start laughing at the expectation of the unknown, thinking the humor was bound to be there. Turned out their timing was a bit off and they started laughing too early. Like at the very beginning of the show when Mike, Bill, and Kevin walked out on stage, there was one chap that started laughing, in a sort of up then down pitch. Starting high where he was unable to hear anything he’s then drop the pitch so that he could hear a few words before laughing high again.
I figured he was expecting the humor to begin with the first syllable, instead of having the show begin with a few announcements from the cast. I believe the chap realized this during his second low pitched laugh. He was able to hear what was being said and stopped shortly after. He did keep “open mouth smiling” though. You know that smile, the one you’re never comfortable looking at, but you always get a picture of in your mind due to the sound of every exhale they make. You can actually hear them smiling.
One of my favorite parts about this power keg of giggles was the humming laughter. It’s kind of like the “open mouth smile” but nothing like it. See, its more of an energetic, or quantum smile, as if all the atoms that make you up are vibrating happily as positive “happy atom aura” charges, which permeate from you, allowing others to feel you smiling without seeing your face or hearing your breath.
As the first short film, or as the profession calls them… “short”, the audience began to chorus in laughter, and it is this laughter that I want to talk about.
There was the “ha ha that is truly funny” laugh, for the many bits that were in fact very funny.
There was the “ha-AAA” laugh, where you are laughing in amusement and then something funnier happens and you keep laughing, but all you have breath for one last blast of projecting laugh and then you have to stop laughing so your body can take a breath or you DIE!!! Ok fine, or you’ll pass out! (See not nearly as dramatic.
There was the “wheezing” laugh, where people who are forced to breathe in, because they have laughed all their breather out, do so but have the genetic ability to laugh while breathing in. Unfortunately those laughs sound more like one scared Troy hiding from cultists under the floorboards a garbage house belonging to one Mike Pipper.
There was also the mid range “cackle” laugh, like that of a middle aged to oldish witch about to bake two Swedish children in her oven because it’s fun and funny.
There was the little girl high pitched “hehehehe” giggling, which all my friends know I am very capable of and proficient at. I’ve been told when I start laughing like that it is a bit infectious. However, I think it’s mostly because men over six feet tall (1.83 meters for my metric friends) with thick facial hair are not suppose to laugh like that. So when I do, the site and sound is so baffling yet comical, giggling along is really the only option that comes to mind.
Then there was the full bodied “ha ha ha” laugh. The type of veteran laugh that men in the 50s would share with other men to identify themselves as manly men who laugh at manly things, or, ohhh I know, like Ed McMahon would use on the Tonight Show back in the day. “Ha Ha, YES!”
There was also the “silent” laughter, which I also took part in. This is the laughing so hard that your voice gives out and you entire body is shaking with laughter, but no noise is coming out. This is usually accompanied by some thrashing about in your seat in a bought of uncontrolled humor trying to escape.
Don’t get me wrong, there was the occasional “ha, ahh” laugh. The kind, were you start laughing because you expectation is making you laugh, but half way though you realize you expectations were set a little too high and it turns out it really wasn’t that funny. It’s kind of like that one friend that is always telling a funny joke they heard, but isn’t any good at telling jokes, so they laugh though the whole thing and then screw up or have forgotten the punch line and whole prospect of being humorously entertained is sucked away in an uncomfortable silence. At least until someone else shares a joke that brings the laughter back.
I could keep going, but at risk at making a longish post longer I’ll just wrap things up by saying to Mike, Bill and Kevin, “Thank you for a brilliant, festive, and joy filled show.” It’s truly a rare experience when at the end of a show you can get out of your seat, and hear people around you say, “That was sooo bad.” all the while grinning uncontrollably and then adding “I can’t wait to see it again.” Well done men, well done.
Did any of you catch this show? If so, what did you think?
Image Sources: Google Images, key words: RiffTrax Christmas Shorts, MST3K Final Sacrifice, Ed and Johnny, audience laughing, and quantum.
MST is one of those symbols of permeating happiness for me. I can watch episodes by myself or with friends and quote along in giggly goodness, or I can have an episode playing in the background, like right now, while I work on my writing, or even while playing the occasional game.
As background noise, I love it. I don’t have to pay attention at all, but every now and again something will sneak through and I’ll start smiling or laughing. Even if I can barely hear it, I can look up from what I’m doing and if I know the episode really well, I’ll start chucking to myself because I know what riffs are coming up next, and I know they are going to make be laugh. They always do.
One of my favorite things to do is take a nap on the couch with an MST playing on the television. The collection of riff after riff is a lullaby of humor. I fall asleep and wake up smiling, and on more than one occasion I’ve even waken up laughing. It’s the perfect ingredient to the perfect nap.
Which finally brings me to today’s MST feature, Space Mutiny. I believe the cover of the 2008 DVD release describes this film best by stating, “It’s hilarious, but not on purpose.” Which is true, unless you are watching the MST version, then it’s most definitely on purpose. My main reason for highlighting this film is because it has been my giggle to sleep companion the past few times I have taken a nap.
When describing this film, I think it’s important to point out that all of the space scenes are taken from the original TV series of Battlestar Galactica. The only thing I could think of that makes sense for why this was done is that the director won some Battlestar Galactica stock footage in a poker game and decided to make a film around it.
The inconsistencies throughout this film are simply astounding, and is probably the only consistent thing about the film. I think Mike sums it up perfectly during the opening credits. As the Edited By credit appears, three names appear below it, and Mike quips, “Passed from editor to editor in a desperate attempt to save it.” And you know what, each one consistently failed.
One of my favorite moments in the film happens when one of the ships crew members, not wearing red I might add, gets killed by the films evil villain and then in the very next scene the dead crew member is sitting at her work station on the bridge of the ship. They even walk past her a second time letting her fill the foreground of the shot. Apparently it wasn’t enough that she appeared once in the scene so the few people still paying attention while watching the movie might notice, oh no, they just had to show her a second time just so the people that did catch it the first time could prove it to everyone else who missed it. It’s always nice when a movie gives you a freebee like that, so you tell your friends, “See! I told you!”
The hero of the movie, Slab Bulkhead, no wait, it was Fridge Largemeat, no, no, I think it was Punt Speedchunk… bah, I have no idea. Oh wait, that’s right it’s David Ryder. He’s a big beefy guy who screams like a little girl constantly throughout the film. Personally I think this makes him an anti-hero, but considering the lack of hero options, you’re pretty much stuck with him. This brings me to my favorite part of this film… Mike and the bots endless barrage of nicknames they give to our hero throughout the film. Here are a few of my favorites:
If you are a fan of the show and have not yet seen this one yet, or if you’ve never watched an MST before, this one is worth the effort. Don’t get me wrong, it is a bad movie, and sometimes its worse than bad, but it is worth it. Here, I’ll even make it easy for you to find:
I think one of the best things about watching an MST’d movies is that no matter how bad the movie is, you truly feel a sense of accomplishment at the end. Not only did you make it though a film that even a mime would give the finger to and personally call the director to tell them what a piece of shit it was, while still wearing their mime garb, but you finish the picture smiling, sometimes laughing. There’s also a good chance you will actually tell your friends that the cinematic abomination you just watched really wasn’t that bad… I mean it’s bad, you don’t lose all common sense, it just that it’s not THAT bad. Call it what you want, but be being able to do that to an unwatchable movie is nothing less than miraculous.
What are some of the movies that you think should be made fun of? Do you think we should start a petition to get the MST crew sainted… saintified… sainthooded? That thing that old people in funny hats do to people who do miracles? It’s a thought anyway.
Image credits: Google Images, keywords: Space Mutiny and watching mst3k.
I’ve yet to give Twitter a try. Wow, try saying that three times fast… Twitter a try. Tritter a try. Tridder, trida, twit… yeah, no good. Still, I’ve yet to give it a go, but I’m sure I shall sooner or later. I guess you could say I’m working my way up to it. One thing that’s helped motivate me towards this is the site Ruminations.com. It’s kind of like Twitter, but funny and there is a task force dedicated to eradicating redundant crap, exhausted jokes, failed funnies, and pointless posts.
My favorite statistic I read on this site is this, “All submissions are screened before being approved and approximately 39% are rejected.” 39%, that’s just brilliant! This means that I’ll never have to read messages from people that they are eating leftovers, sitting on their porch, or going to go use the toilet, as well as all the other endless supply of posted Tweets that are responsible for the overused texting anagram TMI.
Here’s what I submitted:
