by Richard Timothy | Aug 12, 2010 | Gratefully Grateful, I Do Suggest, I Think There's a Point, My List of Things that Don't Suck, Non-Fiction, Observationally Speaking
So I recently accessed the hard drive of my old computer that died about 9 months ago. There were two brilliant things that happened as a result of this. First, I was able to retrieve about 30GB of music that I had ripped to MP3s and then sold the CDs to a used CD shop. The second thing I found was a download of a commercial that I absolutely love.
My brother found it years ago and sent me a copy because he too thought it was well worth the viewing. I remember I use to watch the thing about once a week. As time passed, and eventually when the computer died, this commercial got stored into the spring loaded closet in my mind. This is a closet that we all store memories in, memories that are only lightly or barely forgotten. When something finally triggers one of these memories it is not a subtle “Oh yeah, I think I remember that” experience, but instead it is a sudden jolt or remembrance, which shoots the memory with such an intense remember fondness that you are surprised you had ever forgotten it in the first place.
It’s a foreign commercial, so I have no idea what is being said, but it is made well enough that you will definitely get the message. Enjoy (click here if video does not play).
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EzmzL0hALQs]
It’s subtle and absolutely brilliant, and it makes me want to be better and help others. I remember when I first saw this, years ago, I tried to find out what the site was, but all my Internet searches kept coming up as ‘not found.’ Today however… let’s just say it’s amazing what five plus years of internet evolution can do for situations like this. This time, with Google as my search buddy, I discovered a link to the company Friends. They even have a section in English explaining what it is they do.
Turns out Friends is a ‘stop bullying in schools’ organization that was founded in Sweden in 1997. It was set up to help schools create a system for addressing the issue of bullying. To sum them up, I’m just going to give you the following excerpt from their site, “We work with helping pupils to speak up against meanness and injustice, to make them believe in themselves and to respect and care for each other.”
I remember my own being bullied experiences, granted, usually it they were from my older brothers. Winter time was always the worst because I always found myself being attacked by a barrage of snow balls by my oldest brother and his ruffian friends. All of which were at least five years older than I was. Sure I always lost, but every once in a while I hit one of them in the head with a tightly packed ball of snow, which always made for a sweet defeat. There were a few instances though that I remember from grade school that terrified me for a few weeks until the bully found some new victim that couldn’t run as fast as I could.
I have to admit though, that having found out what the organization does helps me enjoy the commercial that much more. I think I appreciate it so much because it’s the subtle, simple acts of kindness that can transform a situation from horrible to passable, dreadful to encouraging, or simply bad to good, or even good to the best day ever. Random acts of kindness, they make the world a better place. Making friends instead of controlling minions seems to be a growing part of our evolutionary approach to others; at least I hope it is. Maybe there will always be bullies, but helping the next generations create a dialogue and experience that reduces that number every year, that’s just pretty damn cool.
So, what did you think of the commercial?
Image Sources:
Google Images, key words: commercial, anti-bullying, and free hugs.
![Allergic to Cute – Part 2]()
by Richard Timothy | Aug 3, 2010 | Fiction, I Do Suggest, I Think There's a Point, Observationally Speaking, Public Service Announcement
This actually started as a side thought while I was working on the “Allergic to Cute” Smirk I did yesterday. With the Allergic to Cute post now over a day old, I can confidently say that it is a documented fact that cute fuzzy things evoke in us an impulse to uncontrollably squeeze them. And by documented fact, I mean it’s a fact that I have documented this human condition. Now take away all the fur, and add rolls of chubbiness and keep the adorability level at high and what happens with this impulse? Babies are associated with this allergic to cute concept, but the reaction is a little different. The desire to squeeze subsides, but the uncontrollable desire to eat them comes to the surface in full force.
On Sunday my ten month old nephew was with his mom over for dinner. After dinner concluded, I found myself holding the kid while his mom was getting his bottle ready. I noticed that while I was sitting there holding on to his roly poly little arms, I had a sudden urge to bite him. Not in a “Braiiiins!” way, but more of a “I just wanna eat you!” jovial way. I even went so far as to take one of his pudgy hands and put it in my mouth just so I could feel the baby skin next to my teeth. It was oddly soothing and satisfying and removed as desire to what to make a snack out of him.
I know I’m not alone in this too. I see people doing this all the time with cubby babies. I would dare say it is a worldwide practice. People are always putting baby feet or hands into their mouths and lightly gnawing on them. Some even make a game out of pretending to eat up the baby whole, complete with “chomp, chomp, chomp” noises they make while miming the actions. I makes me wonder if blowing on a baby’s tummy is really a game to get the little thing to giggle, or is it actually an attempt to vibrationally tenderize the baby, which I think would only add to its adorability and yumminess levels. There is also the arm biting where people will grab the baby’s arm and start lightly gnawing on it like it were corn on the cob.
I’m not saying we should begin baby consumption, although we do take part in this already at certain levels… namely eggs, oh and caviar, which I guess is still eggs. There is also the veal eaters, which most people agree belong right above “that couple that bring their baby to a 9 PM showing of a rated R movie and refuses to take them out of the theater when it wakes up and starts to cry” people on the All-Time Most Despised People list. Yes veal eaters are worse than the crying baby at movie people.
On a literary level, the one thing that this realization has done for me is allow me to connect with the witch in Hansel and Gretel a little more. I have no plans on changing my views on the outcome of the story. I just I understand her motivations a bit more. Did she deserve to be cooked alive in her own stove? Yes. That is what I like to call the golden rule of karma. Now had the kids eaten the witch after she was cooked, then we would have had ironic karma, which is just as good as regular karma only with an additional “ha ha” mixed in with the story telling portion of it.
I guess if I was to leave you with one thing it would have to be… “NO! Don’t eat babies!” There, that should do it. Seriously though, lightly gnawing on babies is fine, but really, that’s it.
Come on, you know you crave gnawing on babies too. Fess up.
Image Sources:
Google Images, key words: chubby baby, mom biting baby, and Hansel and Gretel.
by Richard Timothy | Aug 2, 2010 | Fiction, I Do Suggest, I Think There's a Point, Observationally Speaking, Public Service Announcement
Have you ever be holding an animal of overwhelming adorability, like a puppy, or bunny, or kitty, or some other little fluffy animal ending with y? Then, as you are holding this ball of cuteness you are hit with this sudden urge, almost as if it were a sugar rush. It comes out of nowhere and the next thing you know you are filled with this intense urge to uncontrollably squeeze this implement (animal) of cuteness. It begins in your jaw, and as the feeling builds up, your jaw starts to clinch shut, tighter and tighter, until the teeth in the back of your mouth begin to ache a little.
Then the urge to squeeze kicks in, but the second it does so does a sort of mussel lock causing your whole body to flex, stopped any over squeezing to occur. While in this moment of impasse you mind is usually filled with the saying, “So are sooo cute! I can’t even stand it!” Sometimes this phrase is actually said to the animal, and other times it stays internal. This seizing moment is kind of like a conflict between instinct and your mental control over instinct. Your instinct is to uncontrollable squeeze this creature of such cuteness magnitude with no inhibitions, but you mind keeps you from doing that so you can continue to bask in a kind of cuteness euphoria.
It’s not just adults, although I think we have better mental control than kids. When kids get a hold of some type of creature of fuzzy cuteness, they will squeeze with no intent to stop, which is usually how they get bit, scratched, kicked, etc. This is why stuffed animals are such a hit for the little people of the world. With stuffed animals kids can release their cuteness overload and squeeze the stuffed animal with worry about harming anything alive in the process.
The reassuring thing is that I know I am not alone in this. I have seen kids and adults both go into these fits of over stimulated cuteness, and I’m grateful for that. It is still a little confusing though. I mean, where does this cuteness overload come from? Is it part of an anti-cuteness gene that science has not yet deciphered? Resulting in, when our cuteness sensors are over stimulated, an uncontrollable urge expel said object of cuteness so that we don’t overload to the point of self expulsion. Perhaps this is where the phrase, “So cute I could die,” comes from.
Because I see this as a bigger issue than it really is, I have given some though to ways that can help suppress this urge to uncontrollably squeeze a creature of cuteness. Here is what I have come up with so far.
Deterrent 1
When the overload feeling begins to build, imagine the animal you are holding as naked… well saved, shaven… without any hair. I think the fur is a direct component in the cuteness overload. When you think of a puppy with no hair you might still think it’s sort of cute or cute-ish, but you will attach more sorrow to the creature instead of cuteness. The result can lower the overload and cause you to feel sorry for the poor little thing instead. It can also cause you to expel such sounds as, “ohhhh” while softly laughing, because even though it’s not funny, it’s still a little funny.
Deterrent 2
Put the creature on the ground and play with it in a way that gives you physical distance from it. If it’s a kitten, have a piece of string you can taunt it with. If it’s a puppy get a tug-a-war rope, or ball, or laser pointer. It seems that direct physical contact with the cute culprit is responsible for the overload buildup. If you are not holding, petting, feeding by hand, etc. you will not experience this buildup.
Deterrent 3
Practice future visualization exercises. Imagine that the animal is now older and willing to pass gas while lying beside or behind the sofa while friends are visiting. It expels an odor so pungent that everyone leaves the room. This self projected future embarrassment should also help to alleviate the cuteness overload buildup.
And that’s all I have at this point. Just remember that it is a common human condition to be suddenly stricken with the urge to uncontrollably squeeze small fluffy animals registering in ultra high levels of adorability. It is also common for your body to experience a quick sudden seize up to keep you from over squeezing these animals. Do not feel bad about this, or think there is anything wrong with you. You are not alone and you are perfectly human. It’s just that I think at some deep genetic level we are all allergic to cute.
If you have any additional cuteness overload deterrents, please share. I for one would love to hear them.
Image Sources:
Google Images, key words: puppy, kid with stuffed animal, shaved puppy, and kitten with string.
![Allergic to Cute – Part 2]()
by Richard Timothy | Jul 14, 2010 | I Do Suggest, I Think There's a Point, Lightbulbs and Soapboxes, Non-Fiction, Observationally Speaking
So I went to a free outdoor concert last week, which I high expectations for, but instead it turned out to be mostly obnoxious, with just a hint of tedious, and a splash of hope that all of the rude, inconsiderate, pushy kids would catch a nonfatal, yet very itchy, rash around their neither regions, which would last for a good week and a half. Typically I consider myself of the “kindness towards your fellow man” disposition. In times of arguments and grumbling I’m usually the first to start the, “can’t we all just get along?” chant of togetherness. Unfortunately though, as wave upon wave of rude people invaded my space, i.e. stepping walking through the middle of us all sitting in a blanket on a grass filled area away from the sidewalks, I admit that I did begin to lose that perspective in a hurry. It was the utter lack of mutual respect that emitted off those people like the pungent odor off an overpriced wedge of foul tasting soft French cheese, that I had the biggest problem with.
Yes I am being judgmental, but that’s the point really. Plus, I’m perfectly fine with it. Judging is one of those words that carry with it a lot of negatively charged emotional attachment. I think this is because of its use in religious text. The context is that is usually given is that judging is a bad thing that we should not take part in. I believe there was also a subtle suggestion in the text regarding this action… something about if you judge someone they’ll judge you back. Then a little while later in the book you have all these laws being shared that do, in fact, give you guidelines for judging people, and how they should be dealt with after said judgment takes place. It’s a bit confusing really.
Judge not… rubbish, I say judge, because I really do think it is part of the human condition. I know it sounds odd, but I think judging others shows you’re human. The problem is, is that people think and have been led to believe that judging others suggests negative insinuations, or unpleasantries about their character, which it certainly can, but does it always? Can you judge someone without attaching a negative perspective to it? I think you can, because I do it all the time. I’ve seen people that I thought could benefit from seeing a therapist. From that I could either mean that I think they are a crazy person, or that they could benefit and create a better life for themselves if they were to get some professional help. Both are judgments, one could be classified as a bit negative and the other is concern and not what I consider to me negative at all.
I figure the first thing we need to do when talking about this word is to define it so we know in what context the word is being used. There is the context of making a judgment due to one’s professional possession as in being a judge. Also, you may be required to judge someone’s guilt if you are assigned to a jury at some point in life. Those professional definitions aside, judging someone simply seems to mean forming an opinion about someone’s character based on one’s personal perspective, as in what think about them based on your observations. Yes, first impressions can be wrong, but first impressions are a social system for judging others. Job interviews are another socially acceptable scenario for judging others. As long as it is called something else, people seem to be fine with it.
Can judgments be wrong? Of course, that’s the great thing about the mind, thoughts, beliefs, impressions, etc. we can change them with the more information we get. We’re very clever that way. I’ve met some people that I didn’t much care for at first and whom I’ve grown to love and appreciate. The exact opposite can also be said.
Not too long ago I as this one kid get all huffy and bent out of shape because of a look they got from someone the store. They were so worked up that they confronted this person and the first thing out of their mouth was, “Don’t judge me!” I started laughing… I always start laughing when I hear that phrase. Telling people not to judge automatically gets them judging because of the judgment performed on them by the person who thinks they are judging. Also, by telling someone not to judge means you are, in fact, judging them. It’s a perfect working example of hypocrisy, commonly very loud angst filled hypocrisy, but there’s no telling them that, usually… unless they are family… or a good friend… or that one obnoxious guy that doesn’t drink, but acts drunk all night in a poorly chosen attempt to fit in and needs this explained to them in a very direct way because subtle hints are completely lost on them.
I’d really like to see all the animosity toward the word to go away. There’s really no point. People seem fine and always happy to take part in the action when they call it something else. One of the most common and favored practices of judging others is “people watching”. People love to watch other people, and form opinions about them. The one thing you can count on when you go people watching is that others are watching and judging you as well. It really is quite an even handed practice. Perhaps that’s why people seem to enjoy it so much.
I suppose the point is, it’s what we choose to do with the judgment. Some people choose to throw stones, others let it go. Some judgments make us laugh at others. Some make us laugh at ourselves. My gripe with judging others comes from people who take that judgment and intentionally belittle the person they are judging. Things designed to attack another’s self-worth and self-appreciation. I’m fine if people laugh at someone in shorts wearing black socks pulled up to the knee while wearing white sneakers, I’m fine with them telling others about it. The part I disagree with is when people go out of their way to make a bunch of noise to get the attention of the black sock person so when they look over and see others intentionally pointing and laughing at them for the sole purpose of hurting their feelings.
To sum it up in a sentence, judge all you want, just don’t be a douche bag about it.
What are your thoughts about judging others?
Image Sources:
Google Images, key words: judging, soap box, don’t judge, and laughing at others.
![Allergic to Cute – Part 2]()
by Richard Timothy | Jul 7, 2010 | I Do Suggest, I Think There's a Point, Non-Fiction, Observationally Speaking, Public Service Announcement
My friend Jen shared the following story with me the other day. It was about her going to the bar with her friends, mostly. Here’s what she said…
“So I’m hanging out at the bar with some friends. We’re sitting in a booth around a big round table and this one dude, Dan, is sitting across from me. He was long gone (drunk) before we even got to the bar.
He then yells at me from across the table, ‘Hey Jen.’
I yell back, ‘Yeah Dan?’
Then he says, ‘You’re the only girl I know that doesn’t get prettier when I drink.’
I looked at him a second and said, ‘What the f… Dan?’
He then went on to explain that what he meant is that he thinks I’m pretty even when he’s not drunk. Most girls he has to have a few beers in him to think that.”*
And thus ended the story.
*(On a personal interjection here, but if you have to get drunk to find women pretty, my recommendation is you either need to stop going to those kinds of bars, or you need to start dating men.)
It did get me thinking though, how many times do we think something out in our heads to form the perfect sentence to say the perfect thing at the perfect time, and when we finally share it, it’s the perfect sentence to the mental set up you gave it and a perfectly horrible thing to say when said out of context. I think it’s one of those universals in life that we all experience and that makes us all the same… even thought we are all different… which also makes us all the same. Ahh, Universal Individualism: making everyone the same since 8 million BC*, even though we are all different. You know what I think? I think that belongs on a t-shirt!
*(Which is arbitrary number that I just made up.)
I’m trying to think of some of my own “mental conversation not agreeing with the real conversation” moments. I know I’ve had them; my guess is that I am just going out of my way to not remember them. What I remember about these types of conversational mishaps is that it is much easier to forgive yourself for what you said than it is for the other person to forgive you. It’s mainly because you had the entire conversation in your head, so you know exactly what you meant when you made the stand alone statement that got the other party in such a huff.
Another thing that can happen is when you try to get creative with your vocabulary, using words you usually don’t. When you get ready to use the word, you kind of forget it in its entirety, but you still remember some of it. So you wing it, and make up a whole new word that sounds a little like the original word. The result, the other person defines this new word to mean something much worse that you would have come up with on your own. Case in point:
You are out shopping and the significant other or friend. They are trying on a dress that makes them look very regal and magnanimous and you opt to use the second word, but don’t quite remember it so you come out with, “Wow that outfit makes you look so mangansimous.”
To which they reply, “Mangasimous? It makes me look like a man with gas? What does that mean?” All the while they are slowly, yet consistently, raising their voice. And thus begins an unwarranted, yet suddenly needed apology accompanied by you offering to purchase Starbucks for the drive home.
Another mixed word interpretation that can actually get you in even more trouble is when you use a word meaning it in one very specific way, but it is one of those words that had multiple and very different definitions and the definition that the other person uses is not how it was intended. Another case in point :
Using the same situation as before, when the person asks how they look you offer this little sentiment, “You look absolutely awful!”
The response that follows is, at least in my experience, usually filled with a collection of expletives, some that suggests my mother was of canine origin, and the automatic and instant expectation that I am officially taking part, as the only contestant in a little activity called “The Silent Game.” My participation in this game continued until I offended party home. If you find yourself in a similar situation, trust me, don’t try explaining that you meant awful as in full of awe as opposed to being dreadful, terrible, appalling, unpleasant, or bad. Words are not on your side at that point and you will be deemed a liar until chocolate and wine, or flowers, or both are given from you, to them and you are dismissed from “The Silent Game” so you can begin to explain and be forgiven of the use of the word in question.
With all the internet capable cell phones out there this process may have changed a bit since my blunder. It’s much easier to look up words and get an online dictionary to assist you in pleading your case when this type of situation now occurs. Still, words can sure be tricky things sometimes. Just five years ago, instant definition followed by reluctant, yet understanding, forgiveness really wasn’t an option. For your own safety, you use to have to walk around with a pocket dictionary. You know what I learned from walking around with a pocket diction in my, well, pocket… I wasn’t going to shopping with anyone that really fancied a guy with a pocket dictionary.
The best advice I can give… nice. Always use the word nice. It will never let you over commit. It is a short and simple word that everyone knows, appreciated, and likes. It will keep you safe.
So how about you, what are some of your good words gone bad experiences?
Image Source:
Google Images, key words: friends at bar, we’re different we’re the same, trying on outfits, no talking, and pocket dictionary.
![Allergic to Cute – Part 2]()
by Richard Timothy | Jun 22, 2010 | Holiday Banter, I Do Suggest, I Think There's a Point, My List of Things that Don't Suck, Non-Fiction, Observationally Speaking, Reviewed and Recommended
This year for the Summer Solstice I wanted to get something that paid homage to the solstice, but also utilizing the one thing that the solstice has plenty of… sunlight. So I bought myself the perfect solstice gift, a watch. And not just any watch, oh no, I bought a watch that would enable me to take advantage of the extended sunlight of the day. I did go a bit old school on the style of the watch though, but I felt it really captured essence of the whole solstice paradigm. I bought a sundial wrist watch. Really. It has no hidden watch on the inside or anything like that. It’s just a legitimate, possibly accurate time piece that can only be used during the day… make that a clear sunny day.
I’ve been told that it really will tell time, but I have to be facing true north and the watch must be resting on a level surface. Now had the watch come with a compass and leveler that would have definitely added to the practical applications of the watch. So far it’s only proved to be good for the following:
- 29 laughs
- 18 “Why?”
- 1 “Dude, can I copy you?”
- 2 “I’m not surprised?”
- 6 raised eye brows
- 3 “Of course you did!”
- 5 “So what time is it?”
- And about 59 “Does it really work?” (Which covers everyone I’ve shown it to.)
And that is all within less than one 24 hour period. Not bad results for such a short amount of time.
Solstice was celebrated in the way that all solstices should be celebrated, with friends, a fire pit, some really yummy no bake cookies, very tasty wine, and a release and proclamation ceremony. Meaning you write down the things you want to let go of and give thanks for the purpose they served in your life and set them on fire… releasing them. Then you have another piece of paper that you fill with your goals and intentions for the next year. Then you either save them to read as a daily reminder, or you burn them too, depending on the way you want your solstice ceremony to go. It was a little like a New Year’s resolutions party, but much, much warmer.
One thing I noticed throughout the evening, the homage to fire that people seem compelled to give. Wood kept being stacked on the fire pit, keeping the flames dancing as the sun went down. Soon we had people with sticks burning at both ends, being twirled and tossed into the air. Sharing some fire dancing techniques learned at a class they took a few years back. Apparently fire dancing is a lot like riding a bike. Only when you start again, it’s a very slow bike moving forward with very careful and precise pedal pushing.
Soon others were playing with the fire stick, practicing slowly, spinning it around them or waving it in the air as if it were a sparkler on steroids. It reminded me of the neighbor’s fence I caught on fire when I was a boy, secretly learning about the power and limits of a flame, a Bic lighter, and a can of hair spray. I only charred about a two foot by three foot section of fence, and lied about it until just last year when we were having dinner at my parents house and I told them that I was actually the one who did that. Can you believe they refused to give me any ice cream for dessert as punishment? Talk about holding a grudge.
The other thing I noticed about the party was the kids. Yes, it was one of those little people friendly parties. The interesting thing is that all of the kids, the ones 4 years old to 19 years old were all hanging out together and away from the adults. I’m not complaining mind you. It seemed to work out well for everyone, and it was cute to see that all the kids banded together, creating a “no old people” club while all the people with, well, jobs and wine were left alone to act like “old people.” Ah, how times have changed… a change that I actually feel quite good about. The older little people can watch the younger little people, and the older people can chat and drink wine. I’d say this is the first step into creating a perfect world.
A Merry Summer Solstice to you all… How was your solstice?
Image Source:
Google Images, key words: sundial watch, summer solstice, fire dancing, and friend drinking wine.
I have to admit though, that having found out what the organization does helps me enjoy the commercial that much more. I think I appreciate it so much because it’s the subtle, simple acts of kindness that can transform a situation from horrible to passable, dreadful to encouraging, or simply bad to good, or even good to the best day ever. Random acts of kindness, they make the world a better place. Making friends instead of controlling minions seems to be a growing part of our evolutionary approach to others; at least I hope it is. Maybe there will always be bullies, but helping the next generations create a dialogue and experience that reduces that number every year, that’s just pretty damn cool.
