by Richard Timothy | Mar 24, 2011 | Borrowed Smirk, My List of Things that Don't Suck, Non-Fiction, Observationally Speaking, Visual Smirk
There has always been something inherently entertaining to me about the dogma marquee outside places of worship. Sometimes they are inspiring, other times they are anything but, some get judgmental or fear based, and once in a while absolutely priceless, much like a four year old trying to tell you something they consider to be very, very serious, but end up botching it so badly that all you can do is laugh.
Some of my favorite’s that I’ve personally been witness to were gems like, “The best form of birth control, close your legs.” I saw that one when I was living in Tacoma, Washington. There was a church right across the street from the apartment I was living in and the preacher was constantly putting up random sayings like that.
Another one I remember is, “Heaven isn’t too far away.” I did wonder if they realized they were quoting the lyrics of and 80s hair band that, sadly, also gave the world the unfortunate hit Cherry Pie. I would say it is safe to assume they did not.
Then there are times when these little signs feel compelled to begin pointing the finger of judgment, and this marquee text finger happens to point at the church across the street. The pictures below come from a blog that I visit from time to time called Status Viatoris, the musings of a gal from the Britain living in Italy. The images document a little church sign conversation between a Catholic church and a Presbyterian church focusing on the dog dogma. I got a good chuckle out of it, enough so that I’d like to share it with all of you. I hope you enjoy this borrowed Smirk as much as I did.
Catholic Church Sign
All dogs go to heaven.
Presbyterian Church Sign
Only humans go to heaven. Read the bible.
Catholic Church Sign
God loves all his creations, dogs included.
Presbyterian Church Sign
Dogs don’t have souls. This is not open for debate.
Catholic Church Sign
Catholic dogs go to heaven. Presbyterian dogs can talk to their pastor.
Presbyterian Church Sign
Converting to Catholicism does not magically grant your dog a soul.
Catholic Church Sign
Free dog souls with conversion.
Presbyterian Church Sign
Dogs are animals. There aren’t any rocks in heaven either.
Catholic Church Sign
All rocks go to heaven.
Can I get an amen?
Image Sources:
Status Viatoris web site and Google Images, keywords: angel dog.
© Richard Timothy 2011
by Richard Timothy | Sep 27, 2010 | Fiction, I Think There's a Point, Observationally Speaking, Something I Know Nothing About, Visual Smirk
The amazing thing about releasing a creation to the world is that one it is released, it becomes it’s very own force, which is something to be dealt with. The thing is one you put it out there it is out of your hands, and regardless of how much you want to keep hold of it and keep it pure, there is going to be someone out there with a little too much free time on their hands that is going to bastardize the whole thing. This has happened repetitively throughout the ages.
There is one, however, that I feel compelled to share. And it’s thanks to Facebook and the ongoing experience of meeting new people and seeing new profile pictures that makes me smile and want to share some of these unsolicited and experiments that were birthed by the creation that is Star Wars.
I mean sure I could make a comment that Lucas has done more to bastardize and destroy the magic that was the original concept and creation, but that would be a little too easy. So instead I give you a few Facebookian Star Wars themed profile pictures that I feel deserve a little personal insight as well as a gratitude filled nod to whoever created these Smirk inducing images:
Jedi Squirrels
The force has never been so cute and so dangerous at the same time. This is a result of Yoda getting bored waiting for Luke to show up on Dagobah for his Jedi training montage. The squirrels used the force to escape Dagobah to find a nice park on a populated planet where they could do Jedi battle reenactments for, well, nuts. To me, the only comparison that gets close to this trio is a squadron… is that right? Or is it a flock, or posse, or troop… flank!… whatever the word is the rest of it is… ninja bunnies! I mean what is a better or more perfect blend of adorable and deadly at the same time.
Gentleman Fett
Bobo Fett dressed up in a Victorian suit. There is something inherently smileful about a gentleman bounty hunter. This image was taken after Han was frozen and Bobo had some extra cash after delivering him to the Hutt. He opted to go on holiday. As he was traveling around he found a rustic little western town that had one of those old timey photo studios where he went in to play dressed up, and found some cloths from an almost forgotten era just to get his picture taken. I don’t know about you, but there is something about Bobo playing dress up always gets me laughing.
Princess Vader
Speaking of playing dress up, here’s what happened when young Leia discovered who her real father was. I can only imagine the inner dialogue that created this for her costume themed 5th birthday party. “Should I be a princess, or my dad… princess… dad? Hmmm… I know! Both!” A pink Darth Vader mask with a tiara, I know Darth wanted to rule the Empire with his son Luke, but had he just skipped that battle and approached the daddy’s girl who knows what direction the empire would have gone once the Emperor was out of the way.
President Chewbacca
It was a close race, but it happened, Chewie ran for office and won. And even though he was the first Wookiee to be elected to reside over the senate after the Emperor fell, he took the task very seriously. This included the first pitch of the season, not bad form either for considering Wookiee’s are not big baseball fans. They are not terribly fond of sports that require you to catch things in your hand instead of your mouth. It’s an instinct that goes back to their canine ancestors. And who would have expected him and Leia to hook up after things failed with Han. I always thought Chewy had more of a crush on Han than Leia, who knew. Han was still a trooper about the whole thing and was the best man at the wedding. Leia also made a very capable first lady due to all that political training she received when she was a kid.
And finally… a bit of (made up) Star Wars Trivia…
How Carrie Fisher Got the Role as Leia
According to my sources (that are completely fictitious) this photo was taken at some StWa-Con (a made up comic book/sci fi convention) where a reenactment was performed to convey how Lucas decided who was going to play the the role of Princess Leia… the winner of the pillow fight would don the Princess Leia mantel. This battle lasted at three days, and Lucas sat in his director’s chair for the entire duration until Fisher emerged victorious. (She might be little, but she can hold her own. Just ask Jabba.)
Well there you have it, some of my favorite random Star Wars themed images from random Facebook profile pictures and the completely bogus stories and made-up commentaries that go with them.
What are your thoughts?
Image Sources:
Taken from random Facebook profile images.
by Richard Timothy | Aug 26, 2010 | I Think There's a Point, Non-Fiction, Observationally Speaking, Visual Smirk
Because family has arrived in town and my current Smirk is taking much longer than I expected, here’s another installment of “A Brief Moment in Human Ingenuity”. I hope you enjoy…
Lessons 16 – 20.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 16: How new Apple toys can breed really bad fashion designs.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 17: How to surf the web and drive… ask a plumber with a degree in mechanical engineering.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 18: How to use your new keyboard (or mouse) with your old PC.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 19: A ripe fix to a rotten situation.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 20: How to build your own GPS mount in any car… works great as long as you don’t need to perform any u-turns.
Image Sources:
An e-mail from a friend.
![A Brief Moment in Human Ingenuity… Part 2]()
by Richard Timothy | Aug 6, 2010 | I Think There's a Point, Observationally Speaking, Visual Smirk
It is time again for a small edition of “A Brief Moment in Human Ingenuity”. I hope you enjoy…
Lessons 11 – 15.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 11: How to easily install your new (and inexpensive) car stereo, after those old one has been permanently removed.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 12: Using your wood-shop skills from high school to repair your bumper for $50 instead of having an auto body shop do it for $500. (Who said you shop class would not be useful later in life?)
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 13: How to avoid the use of extension cords when using an outlet in a neighboring room.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 14: How to heat your coffee even after your stove-top is broken.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 15: How to keep driving in the rain even after your windshield wiper motor fails. (It might get you home, but steering is going to be a bit tricky.)
Image Sources:
An e-mail from a friend.
![A Brief Moment in Human Ingenuity… Part 2]()
by Richard Timothy | Jul 26, 2010 | Fiction, I Think There's a Point, It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time, Observationally Speaking, Visual Smirk
I’ve been having a rather grand time posting a few random pictures on my Facebook page and thought it was be fun to share them here as well. I’ve been calling them “A Brief Moment in Human Ingenuity” and figured I’d include the first four and a few extra. I hope you enjoy Lessons 1 – 10.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 1: How to keep your beer cold and clean.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 2: How to wear a broken seat belt to avoid getting a ticket… (not recommended, ever).
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 3: Don’t be afraid to mark up your books, especially if they serve a structural purpose.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 4: If bad weather is messing with your television signal… remove the weather.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 5: How to conserve water and still use your dishwasher.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 6: Duct tape use 147,872: car door handle… just add stick.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 7: When duct tape fails to repair your car, there is always the zip tie.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 8: How to renovate old entertainment centers to accommodate the new trend of wide screen televisions.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 9: How to feed your baby it’s bottle and still still get something done.
A brief moment in human ingenuity… Lesson 10: Apart from saving lives, seat belts can also save you from having to listen to that annoying grinding noise from your dragging muffler.
Image Sources:
An e-mail from a friend.
