There has always been something inherently entertaining to me about the dogma marquee outside places of worship. Sometimes they are inspiring, other times they are anything but, some get judgmental or fear based, and once in a while absolutely priceless, much like a four year old trying to tell you something they consider to be very, very serious, but end up botching it so badly that all you can do is laugh.
Some of my favorite’s that I’ve personally been witness to were gems like, “The best form of birth control, close your legs.” I saw that one when I was living in Tacoma, Washington. There was a church right across the street from the apartment I was living in and the preacher was constantly putting up random sayings like that.
Another one I remember is, “Heaven isn’t too far away.” I did wonder if they realized they were quoting the lyrics of and 80s hair band that, sadly, also gave the world the unfortunate hit Cherry Pie. I would say it is safe to assume they did not.
Then there are times when these little signs feel compelled to begin pointing the finger of judgment, and this marquee text finger happens to point at the church across the street. The pictures below come from a blog that I visit from time to time called Status Viatoris, the musings of a gal from the Britain living in Italy. The images document a little church sign conversation between a Catholic church and a Presbyterian church focusing on the dog dogma. I got a good chuckle out of it, enough so that I’d like to share it with all of you. I hope you enjoy this borrowed Smirk as much as I did.
Catholic Church Sign
All dogs go to heaven.
Presbyterian Church Sign
Only humans go to heaven. Read the bible.
Catholic Church Sign
God loves all his creations, dogs included.
Presbyterian Church Sign
Dogs don’t have souls. This is not open for debate.
Catholic Church Sign
Catholic dogs go to heaven. Presbyterian dogs can talk to their pastor.
Presbyterian Church Sign
Converting to Catholicism does not magically grant your dog a soul.
Catholic Church Sign
Free dog souls with conversion.
Presbyterian Church Sign
Dogs are animals. There aren’t any rocks in heaven either.
Catholic Church Sign
All rocks go to heaven.
Can I get an amen?
Image Sources:
Status Viatoris web site and Google Images, keywords: angel dog.
© Richard Timothy 2011
My favorite church marquee was when I was living in Phoenix and HATING the horrid July heat. I think it was 118 that day. The marquee read, “If you think it’s hot HERE!!” That gave me serious pause for reflection on my misdeeds! 🙂
I saw one similar to that a few years back. It was, “There are no air conditioners in hell.” The trouble was that my brain decided to analyze the statement and the thing is, if you are of the disposition to believe in that type of afterlife concept then it would only make sense that hell would be filled with air conditioners… it’s just that none of them would work. 🙂