by Richard Timothy | Aug 13, 2012 | Holiday Banter, I Think There's a Point, Non-Fiction, Observationally Speaking
With the start of the new month it is once again time to look closer and learn a few things you may not know about our eighth month of the year. August is one of those months where there in not a lot going on, as far as big US holidays go. There is one event, however that is the big event for the month, and if I had to guess I’d guess that most parents consider it one of the best holidays of the year. Of course, I’m talking about back to school day. The summer kids running amok and treating every day as if it is Saturday, is something that I imagine is quite exhausting. Having them go back to school, is probably a grand holiday for any parents that stay at home, or have to deal with day care.
Apart from the parental joy of having their kids leaving the house to learn a few things for a few hours each day, I was curious to learn more about some of the other holidays in the month of August. Here’s what I found out, August is also:
- Admit You’re Happy Month – I’m not sure on this, but if you happen not to be happy this month, I think it’s okay to lie and just admit that you are.
- Family Fun Month – I recommend going on a picnic.
- National Catfish Month – I’m sure that Animal Planet already has a very special Hillbilly Handfishin’ episode all ready to air in honor of this month.
- National Eye Exam Month – I see no point in this . . . sorry (/hangs head in shame).
- National Golf Month – Also known as Curse like a Sailor for No Good Reason At All Month.
- Peach Month – Which reminds me, I have a peach tree in my back yard. I should probably go check on it.
- Romance Awareness Month – All I ask is that people refrain from doing anything in public that brings attention to your romance. I promise, most people just don’t want to see that.
- Water Quality Month – Does this mean that the rest of the year we are just supposed to ignore the quality of our water?
- National Picnic Month – Woah! What are the odds!
When it comes to week long celebrations apparently the first week in August (so this past week) is National Simplify your Life Week. And by skipping a week that encourages people to simplify their life, I did, in fact, simplify my life. Hooray me! Week two just so happens to be National Smile Week, which is the perfect segue for me to encourage you to share my blog and Facebook (Authors) page with all your friends that you feel could benefit from a daily dose of smiles. You can even continue to encourage your friends to check out my work thanks to week three’s Friendship Week. Introduce your friends (everyone you know) to your other friends (me) in an act of friends becoming friends. Okay, okay, the shameless self-promotion is now over. Week four is Be Kind to Humankind Week, which, in the event we ever get invaded by aliens, is the week I hope they decide to invade.
As for special days in the month of August, I managed to find 40+ different day celebrations. Today happens to be Left Hander’s Day, which is rather serendipitous, since I am left handed! I even wrote a Smirk on the subject. As for the rest of the days, for the sake of avoiding a ridiculously long list, I’ll highlight just a few of my favorites:
- August 6 – Wiggle Your Toes Day – Okay so how many of you started wiggling your toes the second you read that? I sure did.
- August 8 – Sneak Some Zucchini onto Your Neighbor’s Porch Day – I’ll tell you, in Utah this is almost a pandemic, and is more like a month long cruel joke under the guise of ‘good intentions’.
- August 9 – Book Lover’s Day – If you missed it, go out and buy a real book, one you can touch, and smell and place on your shelf as a trophy proclaiming your literacy. Just remember, it’s okay to love your books, just don’t ‘love’ your books.
- August 15 – Relaxation Day – I wonder if I could get away with working from home this day, and by working from home I mean waking up at noon, checking my email once, and then spending the afternoon in a hammock, swinging gently as I bask in the shade of a tree.
- August 16 – National Tell a Joke Day – This one is kind of a freebie since I try to do this every day with my ‘Thought of the Day’ posts I do. Still, if you know any good jokes I’d love to hear one.
- August 18 – Bad Poetry Day – I have so much bad poetry I could share with the world! Hmm, that is a Smirk just waiting to be written . . . truth be told, most of it is already written, all I need to do now is to find some of my poetry notebooks from high school.
- August 27 – Just Because Day – I figure the main motivation for this celebration was, you know, in the title of the holiday, and is also the reason I put this on the list.
- August 30 – Frankenstein Day – I think I’m going to have to watch Young Frankenstein on the 30th to commemorate this day, which as long as eat a sandwich while watching it, is a perfect way to wrap up National Picnic Month and Admit You’re Happy Month, because, I promise, every time I watch Young Frankenstein, I openly admit to being happy.
Well, that’s it for my highlight of a few August Holidays. I hope you found a smirk getting a little more awareness about this month, and I truly do how you can all admit to finding yourself happy this month. Cheers, and a Happy August to you all.
Image Sources:
Google Images, keywords: August, admit you’re happy month, group of people smiling, wiggle your toes, and Young Frankenstein.
Copyright © 2012 Richard Timothy
by Richard Timothy | Jul 31, 2012 | I Think There's a Point, Nearly News, Observationally Speaking
I’m curious how my twenty year high school reunion is going to pan out this Saturday, you know, mainly thanks to Facebook. I know I have personally checked up on more than a handful of my old classmates thanks to the easy-to-stalk options Facebook has sent up for all its users. I guess it might be fun to find out which of your old class mates have been stalking you.
Still I worry that the catching up is going to be a bit different than the last reunion, ten years ago. Think about it, you are there talking with your old friend Josh and you ask, “Hey Josh, so what have you been up to?”
Josh: “Well I just got back from Hawaii.”
You: “I know! I saw the pictures. Looked like an amazing trip. I can’t believe you got to swim with dolphins. Your kids looked so happy.”
Josh: “Um, yeah . . . so what have you been up to?
You: “Oh just living vicariously through people I use to know thanks to Facebook.”
Then there are those things that you might not want to talk about, but thanks posting angry, posting drunk, or both, you might have to deal with questions like, “Hey Natalie, did you really get herpes because your husband didn’t use protection when he cheated on you? Or was that just a herpes scare? Or . . . oh god, you didn’t get anything worse did you?”
I also worry that with the overabundance of smartphones, a lot of communication will happen through posts. Things like:
Post from Sara: “I’m at my 20 year high school reunion and just saw my old high school fling walk in, awkward.”
Comment from Jane: LOL, I’m telling Travis.
Comment from Sara: Jane don’t you dare!
Travis “Likes” this.
Comment from Jane twenty minutes later: Sara, are you still hear? I’ve been looking for you for the past 15 minutes? Where did you go?
I guess there is a chance that arguments could start as well thanks to social networking, although it will probably all happen on Facebook while two people are sitting across from each other not saying anything. Something like:
Post: I can’t believe Kelly is flirting with Bruce. What are you both 16 again?
Comments: We are both married with families, we are just catching up. Guess you still haven’t gotten over him asking me to the prom instead of you.
To assist with more human based interaction I hope they treat the dinner like movie theaters and ask everyone to turn off their cell phones for the duration of the reunion. I’m even tempted to get a cell phone blocker so no one will get a signal the entire night we are hanging out. Although, knowing how people tend to respond to that type of thing it would probably result in me sitting indoors all by myself while everyone else is outside where they can get a signal.
When I told a co-worker that I was going to my 20th he asked if I was going to rent a Porsche and a tux to show everyone I made it. I think that is the difference between a 10 year and 20 year reunion. When you are still in your 20s showing off, even if it’s a lie, seems like it would be a lot of fun. In my 30s though, it just seems exhausting, disingenuous, uncomfortable, and a complete waste of money. I wonder if that means I’m finally growing up, or just becoming boring.
I’m just looking forward to saying hello to a people and if things go well having some real conversations that might result in reconnecting with some old friend that doesn’t just end with me “Liking” a picture they recently posted of their family. It might be cool to actually get to know the names of their family as well. I’m also excited to find out who followed my yearbook advice and stayed cool, because twenty years ago that really was the best advice I had to offer. Sadly, I think it might be some of the best advice I have to off these days as well.
Stay cool everyone, and thanks for reading.
Image Sources:
Google Images, keywords: class of 1992, fake conversation, texting while angry, and stay cool.
Copyright © 2012 Richard Timothy
by Richard Timothy | May 31, 2012 | I Think There's a Point, My Cutie Baby Sweetie Pie, Non-Fiction, Observationally Speaking
I don’t know about you, but when I am placed in a situation where I’m introduced to things, usually music, in a non-formal manner, I am left to rely on my own musical frame of reference. Non-formal introduction are those where I hear a song I like on the radio, but the DJ never announces who the artist is. Another example is when I’m watching a commercial or tv show and I hear a song that I find delightful, but have no way of figuring out who sings it.
There are also the unwanted non-formal introductions to music, which is commonly introduced to entire city blocks by young kids that roll down all their windows while some crap music is played as loud as the cars inefficient sound system will go. The good thing I’ve found from these experiences is that most the time you can’t understand a damn thing because the subwoofer installed in the trunk is making the entire car rattle every time the base drum is hit, which is usually quite frequent.
In the past I’ve mentioned that Angela has a surprising affinity for music that I am not partial to. Apart from her love for butt rock bands (aka 80’s and 90’s rock or hair bands) like Bon Jovi and Guns & Roses, she also has the occasional mood swing and gets a rather strong hankering to listen to R&Bish, hip-hoppy, poppy, dancey type music. Things like . . . well I really don’t know, but everyone once in a while when we get in her car to go somewhere together she’ll start up the car and some song starts loudly blaring—GAGA! Yeah that’s one of those dancey music people she listens to.
She’s usually quick to change the station, but every once in a while she’ll wait for a few seconds and she sings along to the tune. Clearly she listens to this stuff more than she admits, or it could just be that their lyrics are so redundant that after one listening, you pretty much have the entire song memorized—that’s right! I’m talking to you Black Eyed Peas and your I Got a Feeling song.
So the other night while we were sitting on the couch watching tv, some redundant commercial came on, you know one of those obnoxious ones that comes one every single commercial break. To avoid paying attention to the inane ad Angela said in a tone that suggested she was singing to herself, “I’m sexy and I know it.” Left to rely on my own musical frame of reference and promptly and loudly clapped my hands twice.
She looked at me a little surprised and confused and asked, “What was that?”
“I was taking part in the song,” I replied. “If you’re sexy and you know it, clap your hands . . . right?”
She laughed at me. Then laughed some more. Then stopped laughing and looked at me, and then promptly started laughing at me again. All the while a smirk stayed on my face while I waited for an explanation.
Eventually, once the laughter became more of an occasional giggle, she explained that there was a current song titled Sexy and I Know It by some LMA-something group that was making the rounds on the radio.
And even though I had never heard this song I insisted that I like my version better, and you know what? She completely agreed. This made me happy—so I clapped my hands again, twice.
Image Sources:
Google Images, keywords: listening to radio, black eyed peas, and clap clap.
Copyright © 2012 Richard Timothy
by Richard Timothy | Apr 30, 2012 | I Think There's a Point, Non-Fiction, Observationally Speaking
Underarm hair, we all have it, well we all get it, eventually. Good thing it doesn’t start growing until later, because let’s face it if babies were born with a full pit of hair, chances are their adorability might waver a bit.
The thing about underarm hair, much like leg hair, (at least in the US) is that it is a bit of a sexist follicle. Meaning it’s a hair growth that is considered acceptable for men, but unacceptable for women . . . just like facial hair. Sadly, in this day and age you can’t even give someone a sincere compliment on their mustache without her getting all upset and refusing to be your friend anymore.
I’m not 100% sure where that line in American culture happened where it started becoming femininely unacceptable to have hairy pits. I do get the motive for shaving them though, kind of.
So the other morning I woke up, sat up on my side of the bed and lifted up my left arm to scratch my actual bed-head matted hair and experienced a rather uncomfortable pulling sensation in my left armpit. Upon closer examination I noticed that during the night some of my pitter hairs decided to have a late night Tango dance party and managed to get a little tangled in the process, refusing to notify me of this until I unsuspectingly raised my arm.
No, I did not attempt to comb it out. I simply treated it like a Band-Aid and with a quick yank removed the gripping cluster from its friends and family while muttering a few choice colorful metaphors. After the swearing stopped, that’s when the thought crossed my mind—Maybe I should consider shaving my pits? I would never have to worry about finding myself in that situation again . . . the only problem, and this is when the reality of the situation soaked in, I hate to shave. I don’t sport a few days growth and only shave once a week because I’m trying to go for the rugged, 5 o’clock shadow look, it’s because I hate to shave, and I usually only get around to it when it starts to itch. Besides, no one wants a pit full of razor burn. Ouch!
Also, I remember that puberty thing when my pits first started sprouting hair, and you know what? It itched like a sonofabitch. It is thanks to that miserable memory that I would never shave my pits. By the time I would get around to shaving them again, I would be in the throes of itchiness, and constantly scratching my pits (even if it only happened once a week) is not a Smirk inspired way to spend your day.
You know, I wonder if my hate of shaving carries over to my hate of mowing the lawn, because honestly isn’t mowing just a way of shaving your lawn when it gets to long?
Arm pit hair is a funny thing because I don’t think it has ever been considered an attractive aspect of the human body. I’ve met plenty of men that look at women with hair armpits and get totally grossed out, likewise I’ve had a group, or even one woman swooning at the sight of a man’s hairy pits either. It’s an odd double standard really. Personally I don’t think it matters one way of the other. Ultimately if it is more comfortable to shave them, do it. If it’s not, don’t. Your sex should have nothing to do with the decision, at least that’s the way I see it.
Image Sources:
Google Images, keywords: underarm hair, men shaving armpit, and woman shaving.
Copyright © 2012 Richard Timothy
by Richard Timothy | Mar 5, 2012 | Holiday Banter, I Think There's a Point, Nearly News, Non-Fiction, Observationally Speaking, Something I Know Nothing About
When I took a look at month of February for one of last month’s Smirks I was so amused by what I learned that I thought it might be fun to dedicate one Smirk a month this year to learning a little more about each month. So for the first Smirk of March, why not share what I learned about this month, the only month of the year that can be a verb as well as a noun.
When it comes to March, I’ve always assumed that there is some type of Irish theme associated with it due to St. Patrick’s Day being in the middle of it. Turns out I was right because March is Irish-American Heritage Month. Of course it not just Irish-American Heritage Month, they do have to share it with others. As it turns out March is also:
- National Kidney Month
- National Nutrition Month
- Women’s History Month
- Greek-American Heritage Month
- National Brain Injury Awareness Month
- Endometriosis Awareness Month
- Juvenile Arthritis Awareness Month
- Self-Harm Awareness Month
- National Essential Tremor Awareness Month
- “Help Fight Liver Disease” Month
- Red Cross Month
- National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month
- National Epilepsy Month
- Supply Management Month
A few of those make perfect sense, but only after you juxtapose them with St. Patrick’s Day and the mass consumption of alcohol as the only acceptable ways to correctly celebrate the day. Drinking can do a number to your kidneys and liver, so having the month dedicated to both kidneys and liver disease makes perfect sense.
The same can be said for brain injury and self-harm. Next to New Years, I would assume St. Patrick’s Day has the second highest cumulative loss of brain cells in the span of a twenty-four hour period than any other holiday celebrated each year. And I imagine the amount of harm people do to themselves due to the mass consumption of green beer and dressing up like leprechauns is higher this month than any other month of the year as well.
Apart from an entire month of awareness or celebration towards one specific theme, some themes feel that all they really need is just a week for make their mark spreading awareness to the world. The 4th -10th of March is National Social Work Week. In honor of this week I’ve been working on my social skills by memorizing one clean joke for every dirty one I like to share in social settings. The 12th-18th is Brain Awareness Week, and I’ve already got my zombie costume pulled out of storage and ready to go. Today starts National Sleep Awareness Week, so in honor of this week I shall be taking a nap every single day from now until the 11th. This week is going to be kick ass. The 13th starts World Rotaract Week, which has something to do with Rotary clubs, which is a club where a group of people helps others and not a club that rotates . . . and no I will not admit that I had to look that up.
There are a few days this month that I found to be points of interest as well.
- 6 – World Glaucoma Day – You would think that this would happen during Marijuana Awareness Month (February in case you were wondering).
- 8 – International Women’s Day
- 14 – Pi Day – I’m going to get blueberry! (Insert smiley face here.)
- 22 – World Water Day
- 23 – World Meteorological Day
- 24 – World Tuberculosis Day
- 26 – Purple Day
- 31 – World Backup Day
I guess the nice thing is, if I decide to actually pay attention to any of those days at least I’ll know what I’ll be wearing for two days this month. I am a little stoked about it being Greek-American Heritage Month as well; it’s a great excuse to get gyros at least once a week this month for dinner, because I do love a good gyro.
I hope you enjoyed this March Awareness Smirk, and maybe, apart from drinking something green on the same day you dress in something green, you’ll get a little more out of March this year than years past, but regardless if you do or don’t, Cheers! And a Happy March to you all.
Image Sources:
Google Images, keywords:March, Women’s History Month, sleep at work, and Pi Day.
Copyright © 2012 Richard Timothy
by Richard Timothy | Feb 29, 2012 | I Think There's a Point, Non-Fiction, Observationally Speaking
I’ll be the first to admit that it sucks when you are in the middle of telling a truly brilliant story and you realize no one is listening. That being said, I think it’s much worst when you’re in the middle of telling a truly brilliant story to a captivated audience, hanging on your every word, and as you get closer to the highlight of the story you realize it is completely inappropriate for the person (or persons) you are telling it to.
It’s not like I make a habit out of this, but there have been times where, when chatting away to co-workers, neighbors, friends, religious relatives, a preacher at a wedding I’m attending (I could keep going, but I think you get the point) and I happen to end up on some tangent that is a bit lacking in appropriateness once I get to the pinnacle of the story. Fortunately, I’ve gotten pretty good and catching these instances before the punch line. This was, in the event that it does happen, I have a little time to prepare a completely lame ending that only reflects poorly on my story telling skills and does not give the listener an emotional slap across the face and gets my name placed on the top of their “People my mother warned me about” list.
Then there are those few times where, as the punch line is coming out of my mouth, the realization hits me, which is always been followed by the thought, “Ah shit.” The example that always comes to mind happened in college as I was finishing my Bachelor’s degree. There was a big job fair going on where reps from different companies from across the country showed up to interview a barrage of fresh new faces entering the job market with the goal of filling a few open positions.
I had managed to set up an interview with some bloke from IBM who was from a facility in Silicon Valley. The interview, I felt, was going quite well. We had a good rapport going, and had been chatting for about twenty minutes. Of course it could have been that after a full day of interviews this guy was just happy to have someone to kick back and chat with and I was more than happy to oblige, and if it added to my chance at getting a job at IBM, that much the better.
We talked about books and travel and he started talked about living on the east coast verses the west coast, and how much more he liked the west coast. In an attempt to show how intellectual and “with it” I was myself tried to juxtaposed the two locations by citing, by sharing “part of Kurt Vonnegut’s commencement speech to the 1997 graduating class of MIT”, which for the record is completely wrong, the piece was actually an article titled “Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young” written by Mary Schmich and published in the Chicago Tribune as a column in 1997, but at the time I didn’t know this.
I proceeded to share part of the “speech” with him that goes, “Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.” . . . Ah shit. I thought right after I said it. I tried to back pedal and cover it up, something about it being “some writers” opinion, which was probably just said for a laugh, but it was too late. I had just inadvertently called this man soft to his face. He knew it and I knew it and at that point, the job interview was over.
In the end I guess things worked out for the best. I ended up getting a job at a small company in town. I didn’t have to move anywhere after graduating which was kind of nice, and it just so happened that I ended up meeting the love of my life at that job. I guess if I was one to look at life as some kind of competition in that situation, I won. Plus, it does make for a pretty good Smirk.
Image Sources:
Google Images, keywords: telling a story, interview, and hand over mouth.
Copyright © 2012 Richard Timothy
With the start of the new month it is once again time to look closer and learn a few things you may not know about our eighth month of the year. August is one of those months where there in not a lot going on, as far as big US holidays go. There is one event, however that is the big event for the month, and if I had to guess I’d guess that most parents consider it one of the best holidays of the year. Of course, I’m talking about back to school day. The summer kids running amok and treating every day as if it is Saturday, is something that I imagine is quite exhausting. Having them go back to school, is probably a grand holiday for any parents that stay at home, or have to deal with day care.
