With September almost at an end what better way to wrap up this month revisiting my Smirkfinition concept, focusing on words that I’ve a few words I’ve used in the Smirks I’ve posted this month. For those not familiar with the term Smirkfinition, well, there are many words out there that, when left to my own devices, create a fair amount of personal amusement. I’m visiting these words and giving them a new … nay a Smirk definition; hopefully you’ll find them as entertaining as I do.

Reverend, pronounced rev-er-end, is the practice of revving your vehicles (car, truck, motorcycle, something with an engine) engine before turning it off. The counterpart to this work is revelry, which is revving your engine over and over again after first starting it up. Traditionally this only took place on cold mornings. In later years this practice has evolved into an action commonly performed by men when other men are around to show their dominance and fearlessness, unfortunately the female portion consider this obnoxious, rude, and how they gage the mental development of the man in the car. The more revs the lower their mental development.

Note: It should be noted that these men are always good for a free drink and probably have a container of chilled wine coolers already in their car, although it is not recommend that you get in the guy’s car to consume said wine cooler.

The word wedding is a slang term for a specific time used by monks in the late 18th century. The first part of the word identifies the day, in this case Wednesday. The second portion of the word, ding, equates to the church bells, specifically then all the bells in the church would ring, which was traditionally at noon. So in short, wedding quite literally translates into “Wednesday at noon”.

Perform is what everyone who has ever acted in the musical Cats has accomplished. Simply put it is when a person it acting like a cat and while holding a feline pose they purr.

Note: Technically it should be “purform”, but due to a misprint that appeared on the Broadway poster for cats, which said, “The cast perform with grace and brilliance.” was originally said as, “The cast purform with grace and brilliance.” The writers inability or correctly translate can be blamed on the southern accent of the person who was quoted.

Bride is the activity the couple usually engages in on the wedding night.

Groom was originally the location where the bride was supposed to take place.

Honeymoon is the act when your significant, commonly referred to as “your honey” engages in the comical debauchery of flashing you their unclothed buttocks. This comes from the verb moon, as in to moon someone, which holds no regulations towards who one is flashing their exposed gluteus maximus at. In the case of a honeymoon, the mooning action is reserved for the mooner’s “honey”.

Matrimony is a form of barter currency that originated during the Great Depression where mattresses were used as a form of cash. Later this term evolved with the times and is now used to describe the mattresses that people stuff full of cash.

Flying is the anti-potty mouth term used to emphasize the negative emotion people feel when they are lied to. The f constitutes the (according to Americans) the queen mother of all dirty words. The f dash, dash, dash word … as in f#%! If someone opposed to the specifics of profanity discovers someone is lying to them, apart from getting a wee bit annoyed, they may let the person know that they know the person is flying to them (aka f’ing lying). Other forms of this word include referring to the person telling the lie as a flyer (aka f’ing liar), or that someone is telling them a fly (aka f’ing lie). Apparently people opposed to profanity have no problem inferring profanity just as long as the specific words of profanity are not spoken.

And that brings this installment of my Smirkfinitions to a close. As you can see, when it comes to defining words in a completely inaccurate manner, I have a gift … or curse, depending on how you choose to look at it. I hope you enjoyed them.

Image Sources:
Google Images, keywords: Dictionary, church bells, and surprised bride.

© Richard Timothy 2011