It always seems to happen, once a year my immune system decides to go on holiday and I catch a cold that keeps me on a strict regiment of cold medicine and unconsciousness. Due to being under the influence of night time cold medicine, but at a state of consciousness that my mind is sure I’ve had enough sleep for the day, I figured I’d get this week’s Smirk created and shared, before the sleepiness comes for me again.
That being said, here are a few things I’ve noticed this week in correlation with me being sick:
- I have a kick ass voice when I’m ill. I could be a blues singer with a voice like this, I’ve got enough bass for it. Imagine the voice of Louie Armstrong, now drop it an octave or two and there I am. Granted, once I get better I have a voice that makes the sound of ally cats engaging in “behind closed doors” acts a melodious and almost operatic experience.
- I’m pretty sure I’ve exceeded my over sleep quota for the month and possibly year. I’m pretty sure I’m owed one all-nighter in the next little bit once I get better.
- It is staggering at the sheer amount of mucus your body can produce when it decides that whatever it is inside you that is making you ill needs to be evacuated from your body. In a week I have got through three full rolls of toilet paper… for my nose (an important distinction I feel) and two boxes of tissue… for the same nose. I now have the face of someone who has a problem with huffing gas fumes for recreational purposes.
- It’s amazing how much time you get to spend alone at home, even when your partner is there. Yes, they make it very clear that they love you, but they don’t want to be around you… something about our wedding vows not including sharing each others cold if possible. Well, that and she has her conference next weekend that she refuses to be ill for. I do think she has willed my cold to bugger off and leave her alone, and it has.
- Working for people that will let you work from home while you are sick is pretty groovy. The trouble is, when you are blowing your nose every three to five minutes, it makes being productive a little difficult. Of course this holds true if I was at work working as opposed to at home working, it’s just that at home I can wear pajamas and grab a blanket when the fever kicks in. Plus, I get to feel good about myself for not sharing what I’ve caught with my co-workers.
- One word of warning though, do not have a Doctor Who marathon while waiting for the night time cold medicine you took to kick in… I have not spent that many dreaming hours running to or from “end of the world” scenarios in my entire life. Although my dream self is much more fit as a result.
- Oh… and one last thing… if you have a case of the sneezes, make sure you put a layer of plastic wrap over what you are reading… especially if it’s a library book. It can take a while to clean things up otherwise.
I think that’s gets to be it for today. My brain feels like it’s starting to move slower that the rest of me. Night time cold medicine always does that to me when it starts to kick in, I’ll move my head to the left and then it feels like my brain will move in that direction to catch up. Good thing I don’t have to drive home. With all that being said, I’m officially at that point where I’d happily give up my Barry White voice of soul and my excess of sleep for a clear head and dry nose. Until next week, when I’m a bit more, well, me, stay happy, keep smirking, and keep healthy. I’ve got enough cold for at least ten of you, so you should be in the clear.
Google Images, keywords: blowing nose and sneezing.
© Richard Timothy 2011
You failed to mention…oh, wait. No kids. I was going to say you failed to mention the slight vacation of the kids, which all parents secretly look forward to. They say otherwise, but believe me when I tell you that sickness is not all about sneezing and sniffling. There is a silent voice parading around your head like a school girl at recess about being ill. You get rest, and a much needed break from running around madly with the little one. A part of you wishes you could be sick for just one more day.