I read that Utah will now only teach abstinence in schools. To be fair I think they should stop teaching Drivers Ed too, you know, since the only way to avoid traffic accidents is by not driving.
I think I originally read something close to this off of some random person’s Facebook status. Thanks random Facebook person.
I felt a little bad about spraying some mosquito repellant on a mosquito this weekend . . . now he’ll never have any friends.
I think I originally read something close to this off of some random person’s Facebook status. Thanks random Facebook person.
If you put your finger in your ear and scratch really fast, it sounds like you’re playing Pac-Man.
I think I originally read something close to this off of some random person’s Facebook status. Thanks random Facebook person.
My deodorant says, “Avoid contact with eyes.” TOO LATE, I’VE ALREADY SEEN IT!
I think I originally read something close to this off of some random person’s Facebook status. Thanks random Facebook person.
If watching a movie on a big-screen TV with your pants off while enjoying a bag of Doritos is wrong, then you shouldn’t have couches in front of them, Best Buy.
I think I originally read something close to this off of some random person’s Facebook status. Thanks random Facebook person.
Today I beat my personal best for most days alive. I rock! Tomorrow I’m going to try to break my record.
I think I originally read something close to this off of some random person’s Facebook status. Thanks random Facebook person.