“I don’t know about you, but every time I walk by a fan I have this intense nostalgic urge to start talking into it so I can hear my robot voice say, ‘Luke, I am your father.’ The last time I followed through on this urge a guy in isle behind me yelled, ‘Noooo!’ then gave me a thumbs up, turned around, and walked off to continue with his shopping at Target.”
“America: Where Mothers and Fathers get a day and sharks get a week.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, just wanted to share a laugh or two.
“Telling someone their fly is unzipped is rather awkward. First off you have to admit to someone that you were looking at their crotch, and secondly you looked at it long enough to notice something was not quite right.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, just wanted to share a laugh or two.
“If I ever became a professor of anything math related, I’d make an exam in which all the answers are 42. That way I’d get to see my students freak out and at the same teach them that 42 really is the answer to everything.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, just wanted to share a laugh or two.
“I got gas yesterday for only $1.39! Sadly, I got it from Taco Bell.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, but I’ll bet more than a few of us have thought this before.
“Sometimes I wonder if I peaked in Kindergarten. Of course, at those moments all I really want from life is Oreos, milk, and a nap.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, but I’ll bet more than a few of us has thought this.