“When my gums bleed at the dentist and she asks when the last time I flossed was I always look at her a little puzzled. It was 6 months ago. She was there.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, just wanted to share a laugh or two.
“Oh man, I woke up too late to work out again . . . that makes 13 years in a row now.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, just wanted to share a laugh or two.
“I’m REALLY good in bed . . . I stay on my side and I rarely steal the covers.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, just wanted to share a laugh or two.
“Offer someone a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she’s not your friend anymore.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, just wanted to share a laugh or two.
“People who make medicine clearly have no idea what fruit tastes like.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, just wanted to share a laugh or two.
“When I die I want to be buried with some random animal bone like a giraffe, just to mess with future archaeologists.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, just wanted to share a laugh or two.