“I just watched my neighbor’s dog bury a tennis ball in their yard. I’m thinking about digging it up and replacing it with a bean and cheese burrito. I bet that would blow the dog’s freaking mind.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, just wanted to share a laugh or two.
“I felt a little bad about spraying some mosquito repellent on a mosquito last night . . . now he’ll never have any friends.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, just wanted to share a laugh or two.
“A friend recently ask me to spell innuendo. I explained that innuendo doesn’t work if you have to spell it out.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, just wanted to share a laugh or two.
“Reminiscing with friends and family about your childhood is sometime like being drunk, in that everyone remembers everything you did, except you.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, just wanted to share a laugh or two.
“I think all the guys wearing skinny jeans took the phrase “getting in her pants” the wrong way.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, just wanted to share a laugh or two.
“I hate when I’m trying to be handsome and a more handsome man stands next to me and handsomes much harder than I can.”
No idea who originally said/wrote this, just wanted to share a laugh or two.