Seeing photos of yourself as a child at a birthday party or park is a lot like seeing drunk photos of yourself now. You don’t really remember it, you aren’t quite sure who those people are, but by all means you look like you’re having a great time.
I think I originally read something similar to this off of some random person’s status. Thanks random person.
My friend told me that at his job people write names on food that they place in the community fridge. Apparently yesterday he enjoyed a turkey sandwich named Gary, and a Pepsi named Denise.
I think I originally read something similar to this off of some random person’s status. Thanks random person.
Celibacy: It’s like having a bet with Jesus.
I think I originally read something similar to this off of some random person’s status. Thanks random person.
I’m pretty sure the first instruction on Super Glue should just be “Glue your finger to the object you’re trying to fix or to another finger. Now, that you’ve got that out of the way, let’s begin.”
I think I originally read something similar to this off of some random person’s status. Thanks random person.
They say cats used to be worshiped in ancient Egypt . . . and now, once again, they’re worshiped thanks to the Internet.
I think I originally read something similar to this off of some random person’s status. Thanks random person.
“I like watching Martha Stewart on PBS. It always makes me feel a little more badass to get cooking tips from a convicted felon.”
I think I originally read something similar to this off of some random person’s status. Thanks random person.